Together

Is it because I am tall, white and getting tan, white teeth, long hair, skinny?
Those are my features. When I look in the mirror, I just see a girl. A girl whose unhappy and has been unhappy for along time.
I'm trying to change my life around. It may not seem like it, but I am.
As of today I didn't hear from "Will." As you may know Will is a married man. He is thirteen years older than me. He is a complete ASSHOLE but he is also sweet and caring. I wanted him to message me so badly today but at the same time I knew it wasn't going to happen. I talked to him on 4/14. It was a short conversation of him basically telling me he was sick and had been for a few days. Last time I saw him was 3/25. Also the last time I had fucking sex.  Its bullshit like why am I having to suffer. I'm not the type of girl who fucks two people at the same time. I don't want to give him up but its quite apparent me and him are never going to be together.
I am wanting to put in my notice at one of my jobs tomorrow and I am quite nervous. I feel like with all the jobs I am working at, that they are clashing together, plus I am going to school. I need to give some stuff up and not be so stressed out. 
Writing this I am wondering, are people actually reading this?
I need to get my shit together.